Nobel Peace Prize Renamed

Announced this morning, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has officially renamed the Nobel Peace Prize the "We really hated Bush, and you're not Bush" Prize. The committee will be reduced to one person who will simply verify your license, then hand you a Nobel Prize (provided, of course, that you're not George Bush.) Wal-Mart is already in talks to add a "Peace Prize Express" dispenser to all of their worldwide locations.

In related news, the committee is also considering renaming the Nobel Prize in Physics to the "F*** Stephen Hawking" Prize. When asked for comment, Mr. Hawking remarked, "Oh, I'm not concerned. I bought one a few years ago on eBay."

A Touch Of Class #2

I believe the children are our future.

Windows 7 Rocks

I was all set to sit down and write about why Windows 7 is making me love my computer again, but good buddy Michael already stole my thunder. So, I’ll simply append to his list with a few points:

• I installed x86 mode instead of x64, so I haven’t had problems along those lines. I only installed one driver which was, ironically, the driver Michael can’t get—scrolling on my touchpad.
• The fluidity of the OS can’t be overstated. I feel so much more productive thanks to the combination of better kernel scheduling (the part of Windows that picks what program gets access to the CPU) and major improvements to the Shell (a term that encompasses the Taskbar, Desktop, Explorer, and other UI components.)
• The installer doesn’t delete anything. Anything Windows-related that’s already on your HD is moved to a directory called Windows.old. Anything else on the HD is ignored! (I spent over a week trying to figure out how I could backup everything on my HD and have it readily-available after I installed Windows 7, and it turns out I didn’t need to worry at all!)
• Windows 7 is gorgeous. From the installer to the startup screen to the beautiful Aero effects, it truly elevates your lowly computer to a work of art. To be honest, it makes my MacBook look damn utilitarian. Yeah, I said it.
• I’m so enamored with the responsiveness of the OS, I’ll make the point again: if you have ever felt like Windows XP is making you wait to use your application while it does something else in the background, you need to upgrade to Windows 7. Despite running all of the same background tasks that I did in XP, as well as switching between applications at a very rapid pace, Windows 7 keeps up without breaking a sweat. (And that’s running it on a laptop that only scores a 3.2 on the Windows Experience Index.)

Windows 7 won’t be in your local store until October 22nd. And, honestly, it’s not the right choice for older hardware. But if you’ve got a dual-core processor and a couple gigs of ram, you owe it to yourself to invest in a new Windows.

Macrium Reflect

Macrium Reflect is a kick-ass piece of software that just saved my bacon in a big way this week.  I’d highly recommend that you check it out—there’s a Free Edition that likely will do everything you’d ever need.  But, do them a favor: if it saves your bacon, like it did mine, consider springing for the Full Version.  It’s $40.

(Note: I’m not in anyway affiliated with Macrium, I’m just a geek who believes great software should have the privilege of word-of-mouth promotion.)

∀ Births ∈ Home Births: ∃ Death

Good friends of mine just had a successful home birth. I was admittedly nervous, but thrilled that everything went okay; and Sarah's write-up about her experience is here. I encourage you to read it regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of natural birthing. Sarah has devoted much of her time and energy into learning about all aspects of motherhood, and it shows in her writing and conversations on the topic.

I do feel compelled to counter one rather minor and pointless footnote in her article, however. Sarah claims to have never heard of a baby "who died because he or she was born at home...not one." Well, that's just silly. A simple Google News query for "home birth death" turned up this article on the first page. It happened in Ireland last month, it was tragic, and there was a lawsuit against the midwife (litigation--not just for hospital births anymore!) There. Now nobody reading this can claim they've never heard of a baby dying because of a home birth. Return to your lives, citizens.

Update: Fixed link.

Things That Are Funny #6

'Dance Your Ass Off' continues to be the biggest exploitation of overweight people since they started putting cookie dough in ice cream.

-Joel McHale, The Soup

Rejected by Bartlett #8

Before the computer, the animals, mortal though not sentient, seemed our nearest neighbors in the known universe. Computers, with their interactivity, their psychology, with whatever fragments of intelligence they have, now bid for this place.

-Sherry Turkle, MIT Researcher

It will likely take at least another generation before man's affection for computers is seen as anything but "creepy." Consider, however, how mainstream our love of cars has become.

A Touch of Class #1

In the interest of raising the level of conversation on this blog, I present a new series: "A Touch of Class." These will be links and snippets that I've found around the web that I think represent a more civil, sophisticated society (rare as they might be.)  Please to enjoy.

Only $12.99.

Things that are funny #5

Hat tip to Carpenter.

Ben Folds and Regina Spektor Doing It (Right)

Here's Ben Folds and Regina Spektor tearing it up on Conan.  (BTW, the new album is sweetness incarnate.)

Bonus points for recognizing Jason Sudeikis playing an in-over-his-head trombone player.

5th Generation iPod Crashes With Recent iTunes Purchase

It appears there may be a compatibility problem with either new content being posted to the iTunes Store, or iTunes 8, and the 5th Generation iPod.  After playing 3-4 songs from any new album purchased recently, the iPod crashes and reboots.  See the (many) reports that are starting to pour in:

http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1715176&tstart=0

http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1736364&tstart=0

http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1723723&tstart=0

http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1735197&tstart=0

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081001195912AAM3kQr

I'll edit this post with updates on this issue.  Are any of you readers seeing this problem?

Update: Solution

I received an e-mail from Apple Customer Support, and the text is below.  Re-downloading the tracks according to their instructions did fix the problem for me, although it forced me to download the entire album again twice.  Weird.

Dear Customer,

Recently you purchased an item from the iTunes Store. You may have noticed
that there was an issue with this particular item, which prevented it from
being played on an iPod. We have since corrected this problem on the iTunes
Store and have verified that this will now play correctly on an iPod.

To correct the problem with the item in your library, we placed a new copy
in your download queue. To begin downloading, click this link:

https://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZFinance.woa/wa/checkForPurchases

Or, you can open iTunes and select Check for Available Downloads from the
Store menu.

We know that redownloading these tracks will cause you to have duplicate
files on your hard drive, so we've created a step-by-step walkthrough that
will help you eliminate the affected copies of the files.

The walkthrough for removing these duplicate tracks is available at:

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2905

After removing the duplicate tracks, you should also re-sync any iPod or
iPhone that have purchases from this account. If your iPod or iPhone is set
to Manually Manage Songs and Videos, you'll need to restore the device and
then re-add tracks from your Library. Your purchases should now all play
successfully.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact our customer service
team by visiting:
http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/store/


Sincerely,

iTunes Store Customer Support
http://www.apple.com/support/itunes/ww/

Things that are funny #4

Lois (holding Stewie) and Peter confront Chris about murdering his hot teacher's husband:

Lois: Chris, we know what you did.
Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?
Lois: No.
Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Things that are funny #3

"Those pictures that came out of Abu Ghraib were considered torture, yet Anne Geddes can shove a naked baby in a watermelon and call it July."

-Daniel Tosh

Edit:This is #3 in the series. Thanks, Jeff.

The Hot Women of Hot TV Hotness #2

Well, seeing as how my previous "hot women" post is by far the most popular thing on this blog, I figure it's time for a sequel. Besides, there's some new hot women on the TV shows that I watch that make those shows even more, well, watchable. With their hotness. Once again, fair warning to my female readers: this is pure, unadulterated guy talk*, so if the thought of your man drooling over some PYT causes you mental trauma, just keep walking. I hear there's a sale at Target.

Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother, CBS) - To be honest, I couldn't believe that Ms. Hannigan didn't make it onto my prior list. I've been a fan since her breakout role in American Pie. Geeky hotness? Funny coolness? To be honest, I'm not sure what it is about her--but she's got an adorable smile and great hair, which she changes often. In fact, if you've watched How I Met Your Mother closely, they track her hairstyle closely so that they can get it right in flashbacks. If you're not a fan yet, get on board the Hannigan express. You won't regret it. (Okay, unless you see Date Movie. Then you'll regret it.)

Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory, CBS) - Never thought much of her in 8 Simple Rules, but I think she's really come into her stride in Big Bang (which, BTW, are you watching? If you're a fan of my blog, you need to be watching this show). Oh, and I love how the costume people take every opportunity to put her in push up bras, lingerie, midriffs--or sometimes all three! I suppose it makes sense--she's the hot eye candy for all of the geeky guys on this show. No one wants to see her in a hooded parka. Like Suzanne Somers before her, she's there to make you drool first, laugh second. Except nowadays, there's quite a bit more skin allowed on national TV. And, she can be making a blatantly sexual joke while standing there in her tiny, tiny clothes. Progress, gentlemen!

Julianne Hough (Dancing With The Stars, ABC) - Alright, let me just state the ridiculously obvious: Julianne is why men watch Dancing With The [D-List] Stars. In fact, my interest in that awkward, painful-to-watch abomination is directly proportional to if Julianne is still on it, and what outfit she's wearing. Don't talk to me about the other "hot chicks" on the show; one looks like a boy, one looks like a man, and one has a full mile-and-a-half of forehead. (I'll let you figure out which-is-which.) No, no, Julianne in a Pulp Fiction wig is molten iron hotter than any of them. QED.

Paget Brewster (Criminal Minds, CBS) - Stick with me on this one. 1) Miss Brewster does not photograph well. I'll just come right out with that. Her striking features just don't translate that well into two dimensions. However, this is a blog post about TV, and in high def primetime, she looks great. 2) She's chummy with the Suicide Girls website and has even photographed for them. 3) She's self-deprecating! She once said of herself: "I'm like this wiry freak they pulled out of a bar two months ago and said, 'Let's throw it on the wall and see if it sticks.'" 4) She's stizzacked.

April Bowlby (Two and a Half Men, CBS) - I'm not going to say much about her other than she's the eye candy on this abysmal comedy that my wife enjoys, and she's got a ridiculous body and great eyes. It's criminal how much they exploit this poor girl for cheap laughs, but frankly, I might as well be bitching that Chipotle's burritos are "just too big." If she wants to parade around in front of millions of people in this, the least I can do is watch.

Melanie Lynskey (Two and a Half Men, CBS) - The other pair of the pair that makes this half-assed comedy worth watching. She plays a stalker, and the crazy kind of turns me on. Well, that and the low-cut tops. And the pale skin with red lips. Really, it's all a winner.

Honorable Mentions
Kristen Bell (Heroes, NBC) - I actually had Kristen on my list, but I cut her. Yes, she's beautiful. Yes, she seems into geeky stuff. Yes, it's hot to watch her play a sociopath. But I just can't quite get on the bandwagon. For one thing, she's a little too skinny. For another, I get the feeling she's not completely genuine. I almost, almost get the feeling like this whole "I love geeks" thing is just a carefully crafted ruse to ensure that she'll always have a loyal following. Maybe I'm wrong (and I have no doubt the Veronica Mars army will come rallying to her defense), but I've gotta go with my gut on this one. This is who I am. Take it or leave it.

Alright, so that wraps up another installment. Who do you agree with? Who'd I miss? Who are you tuning in to see every week? Leave a comment and let me know!

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*Yeah right. You'd swear off men forever if you ever heard that.