Things that are funny #4

Lois (holding Stewie) and Peter confront Chris about murdering his hot teacher's husband:

Lois: Chris, we know what you did.
Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?
Lois: No.
Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Things that are funny #3

"Those pictures that came out of Abu Ghraib were considered torture, yet Anne Geddes can shove a naked baby in a watermelon and call it July."

-Daniel Tosh

Edit:This is #3 in the series. Thanks, Jeff.